FROM DRUDGE MANIFESTO
By Matt Drudge and Julia Phillips
December 23, 1999
Hollywood, CA
[BOOT UP]
This is the most exciting moment in the history of News.
Anyone from anywhere can cover anything.
And send it out to everyone.
Reports on last hour's 8.7-mag. quake in The Kodiak Islands of Alaska, tomorrow's firing of ConnieChung from THECBSEVENINGNEWS, or next week's NEWSWEEK’s spiking of a piece on past Presidential predilection for penile pumping by plump, politically-placed, post-pubescent White House Pretties can be dispatched faster than an incoming inter-continential blistered nuke. Fired from Pakistan, compliments of U.S. tech stolen by China, sold to Iran, transferred from Russia on Taiwanese hardware processed by Israeli software.
Hey, it’s The Zeroes.
Just hit the ENTER button.
I have. And lived to sell the tale.
If I'm not interesting, the world's not interesting.
If the DRUDGE REPORT is boring, the world is boring.
It’s Zero, Babies.
And if I’m boring, you’re boring.
24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a 12-month year, 10 years a decade, 10 decades a century and 10 centuries a millennium, as far as a chip can see, wire services from all over the world move raw data…all over the world!
I can access, edit, headline and…link to it all!
Throw it up on a website and wait for you to come.
I’ve reported when, how, and what I’ve wanted.
My only limitations have been those I’ve created.
There’s been no editor, no lawyer, no judge, no president to tell me I can’t.
And there never will be.
Technology has finally caught up with individual liberty.
On the boulevards, we call it “freedom of the brain”.
In this post-satellite dish era - when individuals can broadcast their wetdreams with neither a license nor a handbook of regulations issued by Government - The Elites, fearing loss of power, see chaos and anarchy.
I see only sunshine.
The world is interesting, I’m interesting, you’re interesting.
It all starts with the wires. It all ends with the wires.
Information being power and all.
A random Associated Press NewsAlert© begets CNNBreakingNews© begets Reuters© begets Rush Limbaugh©. If the Alert™ becomes A Story after 157 minutes, it’ll beget 20/20DatelineEntertainmentTonight60Minutes®. If it lasts 3¼ days, it’ll run above the fold in TheNewYorkTimes® and below in TheNationalEnquirer™. Give it two weeks and someone at the New Yorker© will pound out a re-write, win a Pulitzer©. A month, and ScottRudinSherryLansingHarveyWeinstein(sm) options it for PaltrowDamonMingella® or P.T. Anderson©, thinking Oscar© just as David E. Kelley©, demanding Emmy, races a secret script for a series starring SomeoneSuperSkinny[PatentPending]. Still bouncing in six months? Billboard© pronounces SonyMottolaLaurynHill’s© rap will wrap up Grammy®. A year in, PrNewswire© reports DonDeLillo’s© handed in his first 1000 pages on a National Book Award Winner® that began…with the stray AP NewsAlert© a thousand cycles ago.
Welcome to the Zeroes, pal.
You’ll get it where you want it.
The buffet’s bigger than at WynnBellagio©.
I like to start the meal with the XINHUA wire from China mixed with KYODO from Japan.
A soupcon of AGENCE FRANCE-PRESSE stirred with ITAR-TASS from Moscow.
ISLAMIC REPUBLIC wire for curry and the JERUSELUM POST for matzo.
NORTH KOREAN CENTRAL NEWS AGENCY when it’s cold.
UK’s PRESSASSOCIATION when it’s wet.
AdAgeDeadlineE!ChannelBskyBBBCFoxNews if I’m lonely.
DeutschePresse-AgenturMSNBCHollywoodReporter when I’m blue.
It’s always waiting for you.
Anywhere you want it. You can get it.
For the first time in the history of communication, you don’t have to live in a corporate “newsroom” for access to instant information. With a modem, a phone jack, and an inexpensive computer, your newsroom can be your living room, your bedroom… your bathroom, if you’re so inclined.
You can take on the Big Boys between flushes.
You can beat CNN to the announcement of Princess Diana’s death by eight minutes, as I once did, thanks to an e-tip from a reporter on the scene.
As They debate, edit, re-write, fix ‘n’ figure what the real slant is, you’ve reported it and graduated it.
Dished it, dismissed it, moved it.
And proved it.
-----------------------------------
Miss you like crazy, Julia.
Drudge
January 03, 2002
Miami Beach
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